“Why?” He repeatedly asked me. “Why man?, I dont understand. I dont think creating an excel sheet is a rocket science. Even kids are playing with excels. For god sake, you use your brain”. I angrily looked at him., with all courage i wanted to shout at him, but. But, all that build up ended up in a sorry. Like Kannan Gill described sorry, that wasnt just sorry, it meant a big angry speech which competed at the edge of my tongue with my parents, home loan, car loan, girl friend expenses, etc. And summerized that battle into a small 5 letter word sorry. I always wanted to answer him for his why like
“Mr: Manager, I am an SAP Consultant, not an excel specialist. And for your information, simple excel is always easy which your 4 year old kid can also write ABCD. However, when you want all the data what we are doing day wise, week wise, month wise year wise with all the ticket details and graphs along with its updates, even the one who created excel cannot do it duffer. If you can do this shit work, show me you bastard. We are not free like you who is playing with excel, word, PowerPoint, etc all day like a primary school kid. We are technical guys who work whole day and find the shit what someone else don in the past and correct it for the sake of some penny. Even though we are doing it whole our career, we still have to cry in front of you for deserved hike and you will still say, we are not exceeded the expectation you have. Bro, its not our problem that you have expectation from us. Just be realistic with your expectations. We are not super humans to solve all the problems in the systems. If we could have done that, we wouldnt be working for you.
We are working here because our parents loved us, we are working here because our parents were so stereotype that they wanted us to become engineer to secure our life. We are here because, we dont wanted to hurt them by telling that we dont want to be engineer. We are here because your company came and numbered me in your slave list. We are here because we dont wanted to hurt my family by changing our career to something we love to do.
And you know very well, being an IT employee, we are suffering in this society. An autorikshaw will charge us more than normal thinking we are earning lakhs and lakhs monthly. Stationary person will give us different rate thinking, we are not going to bargain. Huh, today whole city become costly thinking that IT employees are well paid so all can expliot them easily. Our friends want party from us no matter whatever our bank balance is. Our relatives expect parties and gifts as for them also we are the earning machine in our family. My parents expect us to gift them something in special occations since we are settled well for them.
Even though we are having this high burden of expectations, we are the one who always at the wrong side. We are not been appreciated for any good task we do, however, if there is any silly mistake we do ones in a life time, that will be sticked on our forehead forever. And this mistake will hold our hike and promotions for years ignoring all the hardwork we done till then. We are the one who is paying tax regularly and only able to enjoy the pollution and potholes all over the city. Under current scenario, even the panipuri seller also earning much better than us, although we are the ones who is exploited the most in this society. We are the one who dont have any colors in life yet, we are the one eho enjoys most colorful life. Colorful life, you know, i dont even remember when i looked at a girl with love. Sex ratio is so rare in IT that, we would we feel green if a girl joined our 15 member team. However, that one too will go away from hand since there will at least one workless handsome guy who did master in flirting. The hardworking sincere guys will only speak to her to clear her doubt because we dont have time to get up from our seat and take a sip of tea, how can we spend time with someone else. After all these, that workless bastard would get the highest promotion and hike where we will have to be happy with whatever the least company would provide us.
You ever worked in night shifts? Thats the biggest human rights violation you are doing with IT guys. In those night shifts you are taking us away from the social life. When you all are having breakfast in the morning, we would be trying to sleep few hours to adjust with this new routine. When you will be sleeping happily, we would be taking care of your customer’s system as if it is going to be stolen in a moment if we close our eyes. This IT life made our life pointless as we are only waking up to come to office and going back to sleep so that we could wake up again to come back here. Our parents complaints that we arent calling them regularly. Huh, when you are not even having an idea wether you are part of mankind or not, how can we took the phone and dial to them.
My parents are now forcing to marry someone. Why should make the life more worse when it already messed up. Why should I take one more person to enjoy this pointless life with me. Why should I destroy someone else life just for the sake of parents who believe marriage is compulsory for the reason they dont even know. What should I do after marriage. If I ask you for a long leave, you will say, service will impact if you go for long leave. keep it short for 2 weeks. Dude, I am not going to my home town to meet my grandma. I am going for honeymoon which may be the only time I will be happy with my wife. You and your company already messed up my life, why are you so cruel to take away this possibly happiest one month I could ever get in my life. Dont you have heart? Is it functional? Cant you feel it then? Why dont you remember this service impact issues at the time of my appraisal. Why dont you think this is meeting you expectations as this comment means I am an integral part of this project. You are the king liar, you know that begger.
You know what. It’s all because of you. You cannot argue with your manager when he order, he want more work with less money. You cant argue when he order, only few can give high rating. You dont have the guts to oppose him when he order that, we need to support customer 24*7 with same amount. You are just a slave that you cant speak against him when he order, dont give much leave to employees. You do not have the courage to tell him that, employees have life too. You are so immature to tell him that we are not slaves. You do not have the guts to oppose him when he order, dont appreciate employees since they will point out in appraisals. You are just a moron that you agree with him when he says, dont grow employees as we manager only exist because they make mistakes.
Yes you are just a mechanical robot and someone is controlling you from his laptop and mails. Get a life man. Go and lick his shoes for your hike. You moron”
Yes thats what my sorry meant.
However, after that I went back to my seat and fit myself to finish my never ending taks.