Diary Of An Introvert – Appraisal

It was almost sure that manager called me for year end appraisal. I sat there in meeting room recapping my whole year achievements, proactive works, mentoring juniors and initiatives etc. You know, all these lists are crap, however, I listed it out, just for the sake of argument.

Not so late, Manager entered the room and sat opposite to me. He smiled and me throw back one. Yeah both are extremely fake and we both know it. So here he started.

“Arjun, Yes, this year was very good for you and you did few amazing works which gave us opportunity to gain more confidence from customer. Your project completion were right on time and I do appreciate that”

That was not normal to hear and I never heard such compliment from a manager to anyone. My expectation for salary hike grow till 100% and I already started to think about buying a home at Bangalore.

Meantime, he continued “However, despite doing a great work, you didn’t completed the after work for our project. No proper documentation, few times, lack of communication did affect customer and they panicked”

That statement did hit me right at my heart and I explained the situation

“Arun, I have already completed the documentation, was just reviewing it to ensure all points are covered. I will send it across to all our members. And those confusion happened when my backups didn’t perform well”.

“Arjun, You are submitting it this year and appraisal is for last year. I don’t think one year is a good time for preparing a simple document.” His voice tone changed to not approving mode.

“Arun, it’s not a simple document to prepare, I did this project for first time without any help and Project completed on December 1st and it just one month”

“No more Argument Arjun, Delay is a delay” He said Firmly.

Well, that sums up a decrease in my expected hike from 100 to 70%. Ok I will look at flat near Hosur, border of Bangalore.

By the way, he didn’t stop “Well, that remind another point. I heard you were too rude to My manager Abhijith. Is that true?”

“No Arun, I was quite nice with him. and just asked one general question in the meeting. He liked it too”

“That was the mistake. You took him for granted. Although he smiled, however your questions were unnecessary. You have to realize man, company not always work with law. So all your Employee friendly questions were unnecessary and rubbish in terms of moral value”

Wow, one question made him frustrate, what will happen if I really speak my heart. Look how he plays with his words, ‘Documentation took one year’ and ‘questions’ for one question. These Manager genes really got some psychological classes. But the matter is, my House gone so far to Coimbatore now. This point surely gonna reduce another 30%.

“Moving on Arjun, Talking about company performance.”

Oops, here comes the company performance point. surely going to cut a big portion. Well lets have home at my own native place Kerala.

“Last year we had terrible issues with Recessions and American rule changes. You might not know Higher management even asked us to fire many of you for sustainability. However, I fight for you guys for days and days, months and months to gain their confidence that you guys will not be burden for our company. At last they agreed upon considering a low hike for our employees.”

Well, That sums up another 30% cut and my home just fade away in recession.

“My boy, Thanks to god that all my effort got paid and you still have your job in hand. And yet again, within all these issues, I am able to give you 5% salary hike. I know all of us have a home, parents and a lot of big dreams. I can only do such favors. So tell me what you have to say”

I really wanted to say “Such a Stingy person you are” But circumstances didn’t allowed me. Now at the end, I came back to reality. I may eat more biriyani after the hike or go for an extra movie. What else 5% hike do for an IT engineer in Bangalore. However, I determined to play with words to abuse him loud and clear yet he just find it respectful.

I stood up and Begin with my words.

“I am happy to hear about all the good words you showered on me.And I am happy with the Hike too. I hope to repay this rain of love through my work and lets hope you experience the big, long, thick raindrops which could make you cry out of joy. I wish you have the same kind of joy for the rest of your life too” Thank you Arun 🙂 .

He listened to me like kind of impressed. He said, “Nice words. Thank you Arjun. I wish that’s come true”

I smiled and turn to walk out. While going back I said in a little radius which he listen “All that means ‘Fuck you and Fuck your whole life’ you dump”

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